Thursday, August 03, 2006

Drama, drama, drama

House hunting.
That's what we've been doing lately.
Through an act of the Lord (by way of some special people) we are able to possibly buy a house.
Possibly being the key word there. We're trying to keep things under $100K which is difficult even in Grand Rapids. We are on our 3rd "This is the one!" house and our offer was not accepted. Now we're researching some different financing options to see if we can make it happen.
This whole business feels like one emotional rollercoaster after another and I'm ready to be done with it. To me it's deeper than just deciding which house to live in. This brings up the never-ending mystery of God's plan/will and how He works that out in our lives.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.

So here I am, trying to "roll it all onto God". It's so easy to get wrapped up in what I want and how I think things should go. What I really want is for God to be glorified in and through my life (that's the big picture). More specifically in this situation, I want whatever God has for our living quarters right now.
He is my good, gracious Father and I know He wants what is best for me. And I'm learning that what I want is not always what is best for me.
how does one tell what God wants for each situation?
I remember debating these sorts of questions through college and all my heady conclusions sound great on paper . But what does it look like in the "real" world?
Back to Prov 16:3...if I commit my ways to the Lord (submit to His will revealed in the Bible bymaking sure that nothing I am doing goes against His commands) then my plans will be established.
This sounds too easy.
Sometimes I think I must enjoy making things more difficult. But I am always so afraid of messing up or getting it wrong.
Maybe His plan doesn't have to be some abstract, far out thing. That's not to say that it's simple or always easy. But if I am living according to his will and constantly seeking His face, then maybe I should trust my decision making abilities a bit more.
With this house situation, I just wish someone would tell me "This is it. This is the house God has for you.". This would make life much easier for me. (I remember thinking these same things about who I should marry. Thankfully I chose well. Or was it God who chose?...).

This is the mental circle I have been living in lately. We should know something soon about the current house and maybe all the drama will end! Until then, I'm trying to roll it all onto God. He does a better job of taking care of it. :)